Dee2rites Blog

Tag: Daily life

  • I Didn’t Plan This Journey – Through the Valley

    “Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; For You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.” Psalm 23:4

              The word tells us that man makes his plans but the Lord orders their steps. (“A man’s heart plans his way, But the Lord directs his steps”  Proverbs 16:9)

    To say that the things that we had planned, have changed is a massive understatement. But looking back, I can see God’s hand preparing us for this leg of our journey. When we moved to Richland Springs in 2017 and began remodeling our house, Larry was determined to make it a home I would enjoy, letting me make most of the design decisions. The remodel was long and arduous, we laughed, we argued, we kissed and made up and worked everything out, and in the end we do have a home I enjoy being in. But I didn’t plan to be in it alone.

    After Larry was diagnosed with unspecified dementia, possibly Alzheimer’s, in 2020, we began making long-range plans, thinking that someday way off in the future we would need them. Durable power of attorneys, medical power of attorneys, updated our wills, all the legal paperwork that we might either one need in the future. Even with our finances, he tried to save as much as I would let him so that we would have money for the future.

    Now we have entered another leg of our journey, and when we each reach our destinations, we will be in two different places. Larry will be in glory with his Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ, and I will be alone in the home that he created for me.

    To say the events of the past 6 weeks has been traumatic is like saying a train wreck is a unplanned event. Larry had several falls, or if not falls, just found himself somehow in the floor. I was not able to get him up, and had to call for help. He had a severe UTI and three trips to the ER. With each event, his dementia became worse and other symptoms, such as hand tremors, became more and more pronounced. Our daughter, an RN, had first mentioned the possibility of Lewy Bodies disease, and I asked his neurologist about it in July. But he dismissed them as simply being a side effect of one of his medications. It was right after that we had the first trip to the ER with fever and the UTI.

    The first week of August, Larry began to refuse to take his medications, and by the end of that week was refusing to eat or drink. His dementia had taken an ugly turn and he became verbally aggressive and angry. Saturday, August the 6th, our daughter, Rachael, her friend Jay, and our granddaughter Kaylee, were here, and I am so thankful God had put in their hearts to come. We had to call EMS to come and take Larry to the ER again. That trip, the ER doctor saw something that others had not. He said “I’m not a neurologist, but it looks to me like he has Lewy Bodies Disease with Parkinson’s”. When I looked it up online and began to read about Lewy Bodies, it was like reading a checklist of all of Larry’s symptoms, going back to 2015 when he was diagnosed with severe Restless Legs, also a symptom of Lewey Bodies. I had told the doctors that he had no sense of smell, and they did not see that as anything significant. But it’s one of the early signs of Lewy Bodies. A VA nurse, and Rachael, also an RN, had been concerned that Larry had Orthostatic hypotension. But no doctor ever put that with his dementia, even though it is one symptom of Lewey Bodies disease. Reading the symptoms of this horrible disease was like reading a checklist of everything that Larry has been through for the past 10 years. How is it that an RN, and an ER doctor, were able to see and put together all the clues that three neurologist that had seen Larry over 10 years had failed put together? To say I’ve lost faith in our Healthcare system is kind of like saying I don’t believe in Santa Claus.

    When Larry left the hospital a week later, we had to move him to a nursing home because it was no longer safe for him or me for me to take care of him at home alone. And since then, he has continued to decline. When I have seen him there has only been two times that he recognized me and knew that I was there. Most of the time he was lost in his own little world. And now his condition has taken another drastic turn downward. As of this past weekend, he is no longer able to eat, to chew, or even drink from a straw. The fear is that he will aspirate on his food or drink if we try to force him.

    I had not been able to drive to go see him for a week, because I had to have surgery on my wrist that I broke while he was in the hospital. But I had planned to drive myself to see him yesterday, Monday September 29th, but my pastors, Cynthia and Tom Brand, sent me a text that morning and said they wanted to take me to lunch and then take me to go see Larry. I had a plan but God knew it was not the right plan. I am so thankful they were there with me.

    After visiting with the hospice nurse I had to make the decision I wasn’t prepared for yet – am I ready to discontinue his other drugs, which he had not been able to take except in liquid form, and have them only administer comfort drugs to keep him comfortable. It was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do, but I know it is for his best to let him go. He never opened his eyes or seemed to know that we were there. But I was able to talk to him, touch him, and tell him I loved him. Bro Tom knelt with me on the floor by his bed and prayed, for Larry to be comforted and not suffer any pain.

    I talked to our kids last night after I got home, and even though their lives are full and busy, they are coming this weekend to see their dad one more time. I don’t know how long it will be that he is still on Earth, but I will take comfort in knowing that where he will be in the end is far better than anything here. And I can look forward to see him one day over there.

              “We are confident, yes, well pleased rather to be absent from the body and to be present with the Lord.” 2 Corinthians 5:8

    Peace and blessings in our Lord Jesus Christ,

    Dee

  • I Didn’t Plan This Trip – The Road is Getting Harder

    “My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing. If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him. But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for he who doubts is like a wave of the sea driven and tossed by the wind.”  James 1:2-6

    This is not the blog I wanted to write. I wanted to talk about some funny things that happen. I’d rather talk about how God has answered our prayers lately. But I just can’t. My heart is breaking into a million pieces. Maybe another day.

              After Larry started taking a medication for his mood swings, I began to see his old personality come back, and I thought Yes, we can do this. When we would have a special moment together, share a kiss and a hug, I thought Yes, we can do this. Those times made it ok that I was having to take over all the responsibilities of taking care of the house and having to hire people to do the yard and repairs. It was ok because I could see glimpses of my husband and our love.

              Suddenly, things changed almost overnight. He suddenly became very confused, like he’d not been before. After two trips to the ER, the second one at 3:30 am in an ambulance, the doctor told me what was happening to my husband. The diagnosis was that he had Acute Delirium. It can happen for several reasons, but it’s not uncommon in Alzheimer’s patients. It may or may not lessen, it could even go away temporarily.

              This is how it went with Larry’s dad. He would talk to people who weren’t there, hear or see things that weren’t there. He even called the police once because these imaginary people wouldn’t leave the house. We tried having him stay with us, but that didn’t work out, Larry’s niece tried staying with him at night at his house, but that didn’t last long either. The family had no choice but to place him in a memory care facility because there was no one he’d let take care of him.  

              This is where we are. I’m trying to work with the VA to get him Home Health, hoping having someone else come tend to him  a couple of days a week might help. But the VA doesn’t make it easy. If that fails, we’ll use his Medicare and see what they will cover. But I’m not ready yet to place him in a facility. Not yet.

              I’m requesting prayer from all my praying friends. I need wisdom on what to do, and we need favor with the VA, and we need a doctor to verify this is what he needs. The ER doctor said it verbally, but I need it in writing. Yes, the road had gotten very difficult, but one thing I know – my God is faithful and He will see us through.   

    Peace and blessings in our Lord Jesus Christ,

    Dee

  • I Didn’t Plan This Trip – Cold Coffee

    “Because of the Lord’s faithful love we do not perish, for His mercies never end.

    They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness!

    I say: The Lord is my portion, therefore I will put my hope in Him.”

    Lamentations 3:22-24 (Holman Christian Standard Bible)

              My favorite time of day used to be early mornings, when I would be the only one up. I’d enjoy a nice cup of coffee, or sometimes hot tea, while I read my Bible and prayed. I still enjoy those things, but not always in the usual way I used to know. Some days are easier than others, and some days are difficult to say the least. The best days are the ones when we don’t have to be anywhere, and can just take the day as it comes.

              I make my coffee, and about that time Larry puts the dog out of the bedroom because she’s wanting out. I open the dog door to let her out and feed her, put Larry’s bowl for cereal on the island and unload the dishwasher. A few minutes later, he’s up and usually needs a little help with shoes and socks. We get that done, and it’s time for breakfast. If we get the bowl of cereal and milk to the table without spilling, that’s a plus! Otherwise, I’m moping at least part of the kitchen floor.

              After he’s had his breakfast and taken his morning meds, he usually settles on the couch and watches reruns of M.A.S.H. or Andy Griffin. I shower and dress while he’s not needing me. At last, I’m ready for my day. But first I need to carry out garbage. And finish cleaning the kitchen. Oh yeah, I need to decide what to make for dinner and set something out to thaw. I make the beds because a nicely made bed makes me feel good about one thing being done well today.

              As I leave the bedroom to go to my workspace or the office, I see my cup of coffee sitting on the side table where I’d left it to go let the dog out. It’s cold by now. But hey, it’s summer, I’ll just add some ice and pretend I’d planned it that way.

              “The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord, And He delights in his way.” Psalm 37:23 (NKJV)

    Peace and blessings in our Lord Jesus Christ,

    Dee

  • I Didn’t Plan This Trip – Making Choices

              “I call heaven and earth as witnesses today against you, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing; therefore choose life, that both you and your descendants may live”  Deuteronomy 30:9

    In the course of our lives, we have to make many choices. Whether to follow Jesus and choose Him is a major one. Choosing whether to marry, have children, where to live, starting or leaving a job, all important choices most of us have had to make at some point in our lives. Daily decisions like what to eat for lunch, what to wear, whether to get up with the alarm or to push the snooze button are decisions we make almost without thought. But for the person with Alzheimer’s, sometimes even simple decisions can be overwhelming.

              In the past, when Larry and I would go out to eat, I was always the one who couldn’t decide what to order. It was particularly true if it were a new place, or if they had an extensive menu. Larry could scan the menu and know almost immediately what he wanted to eat. But on this part of our journey, he’s the one who can’t decide, not because of the choices, but because he’s overwhelmed with them.

              When we go to our regular places, he’s comfortable ordering because he always asks for the same thing. Now, new places and new menus are overwhelming for him. Ordering our food is easier if I make suggestions for him, after all we’ve been married long enough I usually know what he will like and he goes with what I suggest. But I’ve learned that I need to only suggest one thing at a time; two or more options are too confusing for him. He can’t decide, but he trusts me to guide him to the right choice.

              There are days when I have to make decisions, and trust God for guidance. What do I do about this or that problem at the house, who do I call for repairs? These are all things I’ve always relied on Larry for, and now he’s not able to take care of them. Yes, I was very spoiled being married to a man who could fix anything. So far, I’ve learned how to take the shower head off in our bathroom so I can soak it in vinegar and remove all the lime scale from the shower head. And then put it back on with plumbers putty so it doesn’t leak! Yea me! I learned how to put weather stripping around a door that was leaking air last spring when we had major wind blowing.

    Yes, I have Someone to guide me, so I know when I need to figure something out and take care of it myself, or call a friend for help.  

              “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding;

    In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.” Proverbs 3:5-6

    Peace and blessings in our Lord Jesus Christ,

    Dee

  • I Didn’t Plan This Trip – The Beginning of Our Journey

    “I will remember the works of the Lord; Surely I will remember Your wonders of old.”  Psalm 77:11

              “I will sing of the mercies of the Lord forever; With my mouth will I make known Your faithfulness to all generations”  Psalm 89:1

              This post is a little different from some of my others. July 12 2025, Larry and I will celebrate our 57th wedding anniversary. Because of knowing it was coming up, I have been even more respective that usual, thinking back over our years together. The years have gone too fast, even the ones that seemed long at the time.

              We’ve had some good times, we’ve had some bad times. But through it all, we’ve seen God’s hand in our lives. It is only through His grace and mercy that we’ve made it this far, and I know He’ll be with us through our last years. I’ve put bad memories out of my mind, focusing on all the good ones, except for the ones when we saw God move at the time of our need.

              I put together a video of photos us, only a very few but special ones. I hope you enjoy it. One word, embrace every moment you have with your loved ones. You don’t know how much time you have, so make the most of it.

  • When I Saw my Daddy Cry

    When I Saw my Daddy Cry

              “I would have lost heart, unless I had believed That I would see the goodness of the Lord In the land of the living.” Psalm 27:13

    “A righteous man regards the life of his animal, But the tender mercies of the wicked are cruel.” Proverbs 12:10

              With all the recent flooding in Texas, my heart aches for the families who have lost loved ones, or have loved ones still missing. Locally, there were no fatalities, Praise God! But many families have been displaced due to flood damage in their homes, some losing everything; farmers and ranchers missing livestock, and I can’t help but remember a time when the rain devastated our family.

              When Mother and Daddy married in 1949, Daddy was a cowboy, working for other people in San Saba County. In 1953 they moved to McCulloch County, and Daddy went to work for a rancher there. He leased a farm near Rochelle where we lived until 1958 when Daddy and Mother borrowed money to buy the farm, which we still have, just north of Richland Springs. The Richland Creek ran along the South side of the property.

              One weekend in the Summer of 1959, my Mother, my baby sister and I, went to visit my Granny for the weekend in Cisco. While we were gone, heavy rains came and the Richland Creek rose up until it was covered most of the cotton field.

              Only as an adult looking back can I understand the sense of loss my Dad was feeling. He had to make an annual land payment, plus he’d borrowed money to plant the cotton. Now that crop was wiped out. I remember sitting on the front porch with my Daddy, looking out at the flooded field and seeing his tears fall as he whispered, “I’ve lost it all”.  I’d never seen my Daddy cry, until that day.

              But he was a man who believed in the goodness of God, and even in the worst of times, which this was only one, he never lost his faith. I don’t remember the details of the next few weeks and months, but I only know we always had what we needed. We never missed church and we always put in offering to God.

              What I learned from my Daddy, is that God is always there and He is always good. Even when our prayers seem like they aren’t heard, God is there and He is always good.

    “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths.” Proverbs 3:5-6

    “The Lord is my strength and my shield; My heart trusted in Him, and I am helped; Therefore my heart greatly rejoices, And with my song I will praise Him.” Psalm 28:7

    Peace and blessings in our Lord Jesus Christ,

    Dee

  • I Didn’t Plan This Trip – Friends Along the Way

    “A friend loves at all times, And a brother is born for adversity.” Proverbs 17:17

              We’ve been blessed with many good friends throughout the years, many of whom we’ve kept contact with over time, even if only through Facebook. But there are a few who were special, and some of them have gone on to be with the Lord.

              When we lived in Lubbock, Larry became friends with his brother from another Mother at church. Brent, like Larry, loved bow hunting and they became hunting buddies, which is a whole other level of friendship. Brent taught Larry the fine art of bow fishing. After we moved to Plano, Brent and his family moved to New Orleans, and they continued to take bow hunting trips to New Mexico every January, and Larry would go to  New Orleans so they could enter bow fishing tournaments.

              Brent was exactly the friend Larry needed when they met. Brent was a very godly man, and was an example to Larry of what it meant to be a man of God. Brent was Larry’s confident, and Larry shared his doubts and struggles with him, and Brent always had Biblical answers and would pray over him. (I only learned this after Brent passed.)

    Then, in the summer of 2005, Brent was in a terrible auto accident that left him a paraplegic and no longer to do the things he loved. He was on his way to Lubbock from New Orleans when the accident happened, and the closest trauma hospital was in Ft Worth. He spent months in the hospital, and finally was able to be moved to the Baylor Rehab in Dallas. On October 19th, Larry fell off the roof of a 2-story house where he was working in Dallas. The ambulance took him to Baylor Hospital downtown Dallas.  When Brent heard about Larry’s accident and that he was in the hospital, he got his son to escort him, in his new motorized wheelchair, from the Rehab hospital to the main hospital to see Larry. A true friend in time of need. Brent’s family moved back to Lubbock, closer to their extended family, when Brent finally was dismissed from the Rehab hospital. A few years later, he moved on to heaven, and Larry grieved his friend.

    Another good friend Larry met when we moved back to Central Texas. Larry Smith was also a very godly man, a leader in our new church. And he was a hunter! Finally after twelve years, Larry had another hunting buddy! I don’t think they had the same level of friendship that Larry had with Brent, but Larry S. and his precious wife Alice took us under their wing when we were new members at church and helped us feel a part of the body there. Sadly, Larry S. graduated to glory in 2020, and a short time later Alice moved back to Ohio where her daughter lived and she had other family.

    Then there was Jim, who was married to my best friend, Lorna. When Larry lost his job, Jim was there for him, inviting him over to help with the pool table he was building. And as soon as it was finished, Jim regularly had Larry over to play pool. Another friend in time of need.

    If I were to talk about every person God has brought into our lives, this post would be way too long. But, even now, as we’re walking through this hard time of life, God is blessing us with true friends. My circle of friends at church are so special, allowing me to cry on their shoulders at times, and praying with me always.  There is one couple who always invite us to sit with them when we all go out to lunch after church, even though they understand Larry can’t carry on a normal conversation, partly because he can’t hear well in noisy places, and partly he can’t always remember what he wants to say.

    But even as precious as all these people are, and many many others as well, have been, there is One who has always been here with us, and has promised to never to leave us, Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior. I rely on my friends for support, but in the dark hours of the night, it is Jesus Who I call on for guidance, comfort, and peace.

    “…but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.”  Proverbs 18:24b

    Peace and blessings in our Lord Jesus Christ,

    Dee

  • I Didn’t Plan this trip – And the Road Gets Rocky Sometimes

    “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding” Proverbs 3:5

    Mornings used to be easy. I would get up, take my shower, have my coffee and yogurt. Larry would get up, dress himself and have his cereal. Easy, we’d be out the door to begin our day. Retirement had only changed the time we’d start our day. Until now.

              Larry has worn hearing aids for more than 10 years and has always taken care of them, putting them in his ears in the morning, taking them out at night and putting them in the charger. I was not involved. Until now.

              A few weeks ago, he told me his hearing aids wouldn’t go in right. I looked and saw what the problem was (backwards, wrong ears) and got them in for him. “How’d you do that? I’ve been trying for 30 minutes.” Since then, there have been more times I’ve had to put them in for him because he wasn’t able.

              I know that dementia patients often lose their ability to take care of their personal needs, such as putting in hearing aids or getting dressed. I see that day coming.

              Last week, we had two doctor appointments, the first one at 10 am and a second at the VA at 11 am. I told him the night before that he needed to shower and that I’d be getting him up early to get ready to go because we needed to leave around 9.

              Next morning, he comes into the kitchen dressed in cut-offs, dirty tee-shirt from the day before, flip-flops and his hearing aids are in his pocket. He said okay when I reminded him that we were going to the doctor so he needed to change. He told me his hearing aids wouldn’t go in so I put them in for him. He asked what shirt he should wear, something he’s never done before. As it progressed, I had to completely help him dress and find him some slip-on shoes because he couldn’t get his boots or his tennis shoes on. He’s barely moving. Time is flying by, he has to eat his breakfast, and I still have finish getting dressed. Time to leave, and we’re not ready.

    By the time we finally get out the door, it’s almost time for his first appointment. And we have a 30–45-minute drive, depending on roadwork on Hwy 45. But God, in His sovereignty already knew we would need an extra hour that morning.

    The doctor’s office had called the day before to see if they could move him to 11 am, but I told her no because he had an appointment at the VA at 11. She said that was fine. So, once we were on our way, I called to see if the 11 am appointment was still available and explained we were having a really bad morning. It was, and she changed it for me. No point calling the VA, by the time my call was routed through the VA in Temple to our local clinic, we’d be there.

    I drove straight to the VA clinic, and explained our situation. He only had an appointment with the nurse to check his blood pressure and turn in my chart where I’d recorded it daily for the past month. No problem, the nurse could see him at 1 pm. The ladies behind the counter were kind and sympathetic. I could breathe; I knew God was in control.

              We’re having more morning that start a little slower, he needs a little more help. But there are also mornings that go well, he’s independent in his dressing. I understand that this is just the beginning. So, I will give thanks for the good days, but I will also prepare for the mornings that don’t go well. But no matter what, I will choose to trust God because I know all of our days are in His hands.

    “and in Your book all the days [of my life] were written before ever they took shape, when as yet there was none of them” Psalm 139:16b Amp. Bible, Classic Edition

    Peace and blessings in our Lord Jesus Christ,

    Dee

  • Give Yourself Grace

    “Put on, therefore, as choice ones of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humble-mindedness, meekness, long-suffering,

    forbearing one another, and forgiving each other, if any one with any one may have a quarrel, as also the Christ did forgive you — so also ye”

     Colossians 3:13, 14, Young’s Literal Translation

              Growing up in the Baptist Church, I heard a lot about grace. After John 3:16, the first scripture I learned was Ephesians 2:8-9 – “For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast.” I could quote it in my sleep, but I don’t think I really understood grace until much later in my Christian walk. Now I understand that as believers, we have received the grace of God, and we are called to show that same grace to others.

    As full-time care-givers, sometimes the “other” is ourselves. Just as we sometimes got it wrong when our kids were growing up, we’ll get it wrong sometimes now too. I know I do! Some days are harder and longer than others. I get tired and just want to sit in a quiet place and rest. And as soon as I do, he needs me to “fix” the TV and find him the program he wants to watch, even thought he doesn’t know what it is. The temptation can be strong to lash out – “why can’t you remember how to use the remote! It’s the same one we’ve had for years!” Not the best response, tired or not.

     We must learn to forgive ourselves and show not only our loved one who is struggling grace, but grace to ourselves as well. The second definition on the Merriam-Webster dictionary of Grace is: approval, favor, mercy, pardon. The Oxford Dictionary says courteous goodwill. I could use some of that!

    I think sometimes early on, my frustrations over what he can’t do any more stemmed from denial – I didn’t really want to believe that my husband has Alzheimer’s and will never be the same. As I’ve grown into acceptance, I find myself getting less frustrated and more patient. The other side of the coin of acceptance can be depression, but I’ll save that for another day!

    “Be gentle and forbearing with one another and, if one has a difference (a grievance or complaint) against another, readily pardoning each other; even as the Lord has [freely] forgiven you, so must you also [forgive].”  Colossians 3:13 (Amp Bible, Classic Edition)

    Peace and blessings in our Lord Jesus Christ,

    Dee

  • Move Your Body!

    “You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb.

    Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it.”

    Psalm 139:13-14 (New Living Translation)

                One of the beautiful things about how our bodies were created is the way we can move. Our elbows, fingers and knees work like hinges. Our shoulders and hips are like ball and joints. And in coordination with our muscles and our nervous system, these  parts of our body help us to move about throughout our day. God created us so wonderfully and marvelously and He made us to move!

                However, as we age we tend to be more sedentary and we do not move our body as we were created to do. As a result our muscles grow weaker, our joints get stiffer and we blame it all on aging. However, God did not create us to sit around and do nothing just because we have some higher numbers in our years or more gray in our hair.

                Weight bearing exercises such as walking or using handheld weights are essential for keeping our bones strong. Women especially are susceptible to broken bones because after their childbearing years are over estrogen, a hormone in women that protects bones, decreases sharply which can cause bone loss.

                When I was in my 40s and 50s, I was a member of a lady’s gym and regularly attended classes for Pilates. I believe those classes kept my body in much better shape than it had been in when I was younger. Not only did I do Pilates, I also worked with a trainer on weight exercises. I really loved the Pilates classes, but some of the weight exercises I had to do with the trainer, not so much!

                Now that I’m 75, I have all the aches and pains and movement issues too many people my age also have. After carpal tunnel surgery and a slow recovery, and now possibly needing rotator cuff surgery, I’ve decided I’m changing that.

                Not having a gym convenient to my location now is not an acceptable excuse. I have found an excellent Pilates teacher on YouTube. She even has exercise videos for seniors! And yes I even bought myself a pair of 3 LB handheld weights to start working with weights again and I fully expect to work back up to being able to use my 5 LB weights, and then even my 10 LB weights.

                So I want to challenge you to first, hold me accountable. And then second, won’t you join me? Yes our bodies are fearfully and wonderfully made and God fully intended for us to keep moving even in our gray haired years.

    Peace and blessings in our Lord Jesus Christ,

    Dee

    P.S. Don’t laugh at the bronze statue – made it when I was in college! Great art! LOL