Dee2rites Blog

Tag: Caregiver

  • Give Yourself Grace

    “Put on, therefore, as choice ones of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humble-mindedness, meekness, long-suffering,

    forbearing one another, and forgiving each other, if any one with any one may have a quarrel, as also the Christ did forgive you — so also ye”

     Colossians 3:13, 14, Young’s Literal Translation

              Growing up in the Baptist Church, I heard a lot about grace. After John 3:16, the first scripture I learned was Ephesians 2:8-9 – “For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast.” I could quote it in my sleep, but I don’t think I really understood grace until much later in my Christian walk. Now I understand that as believers, we have received the grace of God, and we are called to show that same grace to others.

    As full-time care-givers, sometimes the “other” is ourselves. Just as we sometimes got it wrong when our kids were growing up, we’ll get it wrong sometimes now too. I know I do! Some days are harder and longer than others. I get tired and just want to sit in a quiet place and rest. And as soon as I do, he needs me to “fix” the TV and find him the program he wants to watch, even thought he doesn’t know what it is. The temptation can be strong to lash out – “why can’t you remember how to use the remote! It’s the same one we’ve had for years!” Not the best response, tired or not.

     We must learn to forgive ourselves and show not only our loved one who is struggling grace, but grace to ourselves as well. The second definition on the Merriam-Webster dictionary of Grace is: approval, favor, mercy, pardon. The Oxford Dictionary says courteous goodwill. I could use some of that!

    I think sometimes early on, my frustrations over what he can’t do any more stemmed from denial – I didn’t really want to believe that my husband has Alzheimer’s and will never be the same. As I’ve grown into acceptance, I find myself getting less frustrated and more patient. The other side of the coin of acceptance can be depression, but I’ll save that for another day!

    “Be gentle and forbearing with one another and, if one has a difference (a grievance or complaint) against another, readily pardoning each other; even as the Lord has [freely] forgiven you, so must you also [forgive].”  Colossians 3:13 (Amp Bible, Classic Edition)

    Peace and blessings in our Lord Jesus Christ,

    Dee

  • I Didn’t Plan This Trip

    I Didn’t Plan This Trip

    “So do not worry or be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will have worries and anxieties of its own. Sufficient for each day is its own trouble.”

    Matt. 6:34 AMPC

    In 2020 my husband and I embarked on a journey we never planned. He was having some problems with his memory, and I had noticed he had difficulty with his thinking occasionally. He was already seeing a VA neurologist for restless legs, so we requested that he be tested. Since this was in the beginning of the Covid shut-down, the VA had cancelled all in-person visits. So, she ordered a brain scan at the local hospital, and a few days later over the phone she confirmed our fears – there were plaque spots on his brain that could indicate dementia. But at that time, she offered no treatment.

              It’s been 5 years now, and so much has changed. The journey we never signed up for. A journey we wouldn’t wish on anyone. Day by day, I’m having to lean on my faith in God and His promises more and more. Some days are better than others. And no two days are the same. That is what this blog is about, our journey. I pray that it will help others who are on the same journey, if nothing else just know you are not alone.

              I have no answers, even his neurologist has no definitive answers. The medications available are limited, and they do not offer a cure, they only offer limited hope that maybe they can slow it down.  The National Institute on Aging says “Alzheimer’s is a progressive disease, where dementia symptoms gradually worsen over a number of years. In its early stages, memory loss is mild, but with late-stage Alzheimer’s, individuals lose the ability to carry on a conversation and respond to their environment.”

              What I know is, Alzheimer’s is a despicable disease. Slowly stealing your loved one from you and your family. If you’re on this journey, you are not alone. I pray that you, and I, find our hope and peace in Jesus Christ.       

    Peace and blessings in our Lord Jesus Christ,

    Dee