Dee2rites Blog

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  • I Didn’t Plan This Trip – Making Choices

              “I call heaven and earth as witnesses today against you, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing; therefore choose life, that both you and your descendants may live”  Deuteronomy 30:9

    In the course of our lives, we have to make many choices. Whether to follow Jesus and choose Him is a major one. Choosing whether to marry, have children, where to live, starting or leaving a job, all important choices most of us have had to make at some point in our lives. Daily decisions like what to eat for lunch, what to wear, whether to get up with the alarm or to push the snooze button are decisions we make almost without thought. But for the person with Alzheimer’s, sometimes even simple decisions can be overwhelming.

              In the past, when Larry and I would go out to eat, I was always the one who couldn’t decide what to order. It was particularly true if it were a new place, or if they had an extensive menu. Larry could scan the menu and know almost immediately what he wanted to eat. But on this part of our journey, he’s the one who can’t decide, not because of the choices, but because he’s overwhelmed with them.

              When we go to our regular places, he’s comfortable ordering because he always asks for the same thing. Now, new places and new menus are overwhelming for him. Ordering our food is easier if I make suggestions for him, after all we’ve been married long enough I usually know what he will like and he goes with what I suggest. But I’ve learned that I need to only suggest one thing at a time; two or more options are too confusing for him. He can’t decide, but he trusts me to guide him to the right choice.

              There are days when I have to make decisions, and trust God for guidance. What do I do about this or that problem at the house, who do I call for repairs? These are all things I’ve always relied on Larry for, and now he’s not able to take care of them. Yes, I was very spoiled being married to a man who could fix anything. So far, I’ve learned how to take the shower head off in our bathroom so I can soak it in vinegar and remove all the lime scale from the shower head. And then put it back on with plumbers putty so it doesn’t leak! Yea me! I learned how to put weather stripping around a door that was leaking air last spring when we had major wind blowing.

    Yes, I have Someone to guide me, so I know when I need to figure something out and take care of it myself, or call a friend for help.  

              “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding;

    In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.” Proverbs 3:5-6

    Peace and blessings in our Lord Jesus Christ,

    Dee

  • I Didn’t Plan This Trip – The Beginning of Our Journey

    “I will remember the works of the Lord; Surely I will remember Your wonders of old.”  Psalm 77:11

              “I will sing of the mercies of the Lord forever; With my mouth will I make known Your faithfulness to all generations”  Psalm 89:1

              This post is a little different from some of my others. July 12 2025, Larry and I will celebrate our 57th wedding anniversary. Because of knowing it was coming up, I have been even more respective that usual, thinking back over our years together. The years have gone too fast, even the ones that seemed long at the time.

              We’ve had some good times, we’ve had some bad times. But through it all, we’ve seen God’s hand in our lives. It is only through His grace and mercy that we’ve made it this far, and I know He’ll be with us through our last years. I’ve put bad memories out of my mind, focusing on all the good ones, except for the ones when we saw God move at the time of our need.

              I put together a video of photos us, only a very few but special ones. I hope you enjoy it. One word, embrace every moment you have with your loved ones. You don’t know how much time you have, so make the most of it.

  • When I Saw my Daddy Cry

    When I Saw my Daddy Cry

              “I would have lost heart, unless I had believed That I would see the goodness of the Lord In the land of the living.” Psalm 27:13

    “A righteous man regards the life of his animal, But the tender mercies of the wicked are cruel.” Proverbs 12:10

              With all the recent flooding in Texas, my heart aches for the families who have lost loved ones, or have loved ones still missing. Locally, there were no fatalities, Praise God! But many families have been displaced due to flood damage in their homes, some losing everything; farmers and ranchers missing livestock, and I can’t help but remember a time when the rain devastated our family.

              When Mother and Daddy married in 1949, Daddy was a cowboy, working for other people in San Saba County. In 1953 they moved to McCulloch County, and Daddy went to work for a rancher there. He leased a farm near Rochelle where we lived until 1958 when Daddy and Mother borrowed money to buy the farm, which we still have, just north of Richland Springs. The Richland Creek ran along the South side of the property.

              One weekend in the Summer of 1959, my Mother, my baby sister and I, went to visit my Granny for the weekend in Cisco. While we were gone, heavy rains came and the Richland Creek rose up until it was covered most of the cotton field.

              Only as an adult looking back can I understand the sense of loss my Dad was feeling. He had to make an annual land payment, plus he’d borrowed money to plant the cotton. Now that crop was wiped out. I remember sitting on the front porch with my Daddy, looking out at the flooded field and seeing his tears fall as he whispered, “I’ve lost it all”.  I’d never seen my Daddy cry, until that day.

              But he was a man who believed in the goodness of God, and even in the worst of times, which this was only one, he never lost his faith. I don’t remember the details of the next few weeks and months, but I only know we always had what we needed. We never missed church and we always put in offering to God.

              What I learned from my Daddy, is that God is always there and He is always good. Even when our prayers seem like they aren’t heard, God is there and He is always good.

    “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths.” Proverbs 3:5-6

    “The Lord is my strength and my shield; My heart trusted in Him, and I am helped; Therefore my heart greatly rejoices, And with my song I will praise Him.” Psalm 28:7

    Peace and blessings in our Lord Jesus Christ,

    Dee

  • I Didn’t Plan This Trip – I Just Don’t Have the Words

    I Didn’t Plan This Trip – I Just Don’t Have the Words

    “Give ear to my words, O Lord, Consider my meditation.

    Give heed to the voice of my cry, My King and my God, For to You I will pray.

    My voice You shall hear in the morning, O Lord; In the morning I will direct it to You, And I will look up.” Psalm 5:1-3 (NKJV)

              “I just don’t have the words” – how many time do we say that phrase meaning we just can’t explain what we saw or experienced. Perhaps it was too beautiful to describe, such as the majestic Rocky Mountains. Perhaps it was something miraculous, such as seeing someone healed. Or too horrible to describe, like the aftermath of a tornado or hurricane. There is another reason – we actually forget or lose words. This is called Aphasia.

    Aphasia can be mild and normal as we age. Talking to a friend, we may not be able to recall the name of a person or place, but only later to have it come back to mind. No cause for alarm, it’s common in older adults. But for the person with Dementia, it’s much more serious.

    “Difficulty with language and communication (Aphasia), is a common symptom in dementia, especially as the condition progresses. It arises from the damage to language-processing areas of the brain caused by dementia. This can manifest as problems understanding or using language, including difficulty finding words, forming sentences, and understanding what others say.” (Google)

    This is where we are.

    When Larry and I were first married, he was the outgoing one. The person who talked to everyone at church or social events. I’m naturally introverted, and have always been uncomfortable at parties and social events. Even with family, he was the one joking and teasing. He especially loved teasing my Mother, and she loved teasing back. Dad and I were content to listen on the perimeter. Larry made friends easily and with most everyone he met. I had fewer, but closer, friendships. He was a natural born salesman because of his outgoing personality.

    As the Alzheimer’s has progressed, he has become quieter. He still enjoys going to church every Sunday, and wants to get there early so he can have a cup of coffee with the guys. And he enjoys going to the Men’s Bible study on Wednesday evenings when I can take him. But he’s the quiet one now.

    I was updating my sister and cousins on a Zoom call last Saturday about Larry’s condition, and my sister said that when she and her husband visited us last July, she noticed that Larry wasn’t as outgoing as he used to be. And there it is. Because he can’t always find the right words, or form a cohesive sentence, he just stays quiet. I’ve noticed that often when someone says something to him, he just laughs (sometimes inappropriately!) and I believe that’s because he didn’t comprehend what was being said.

    And that is the other side of the coin – Comprehension. There are days that I have trouble explaining something to him. He just can’t understand the meaning of the words I’m saying. I’m learning to use shorter sentences because if I give too much information at once, he’s forgotten the first part of what I said the time I finish.

    This is something else we’ve lost on this trip. Our ability to communicate. There used to be a time when we could almost finish one another’s sentences, we were so in sync. We talked about everything – the kids, church, politics and what was going on in the country. We said “I love you” frequently, at least once a day. What I miss the most is talking in bed at night before we kissed goodnight and fell asleep.

    Part of my prayer for myself is that I can be patient when I need to be patient in communicating with Larry on his bad days, especially in the evenings.

    ” (I pray) that you may walk worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing Him, being fruitful in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God; strengthened with all might, according to His glorious power, for all patience and longsuffering with joy.”  Colossians 1:10-11

    Peace and blessings in our Lord Jesus Christ,

    Dee

  • I Didn’t Plan this trip – And the Road Gets Rocky Sometimes

    “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding” Proverbs 3:5

    Mornings used to be easy. I would get up, take my shower, have my coffee and yogurt. Larry would get up, dress himself and have his cereal. Easy, we’d be out the door to begin our day. Retirement had only changed the time we’d start our day. Until now.

              Larry has worn hearing aids for more than 10 years and has always taken care of them, putting them in his ears in the morning, taking them out at night and putting them in the charger. I was not involved. Until now.

              A few weeks ago, he told me his hearing aids wouldn’t go in right. I looked and saw what the problem was (backwards, wrong ears) and got them in for him. “How’d you do that? I’ve been trying for 30 minutes.” Since then, there have been more times I’ve had to put them in for him because he wasn’t able.

              I know that dementia patients often lose their ability to take care of their personal needs, such as putting in hearing aids or getting dressed. I see that day coming.

              Last week, we had two doctor appointments, the first one at 10 am and a second at the VA at 11 am. I told him the night before that he needed to shower and that I’d be getting him up early to get ready to go because we needed to leave around 9.

              Next morning, he comes into the kitchen dressed in cut-offs, dirty tee-shirt from the day before, flip-flops and his hearing aids are in his pocket. He said okay when I reminded him that we were going to the doctor so he needed to change. He told me his hearing aids wouldn’t go in so I put them in for him. He asked what shirt he should wear, something he’s never done before. As it progressed, I had to completely help him dress and find him some slip-on shoes because he couldn’t get his boots or his tennis shoes on. He’s barely moving. Time is flying by, he has to eat his breakfast, and I still have finish getting dressed. Time to leave, and we’re not ready.

    By the time we finally get out the door, it’s almost time for his first appointment. And we have a 30–45-minute drive, depending on roadwork on Hwy 45. But God, in His sovereignty already knew we would need an extra hour that morning.

    The doctor’s office had called the day before to see if they could move him to 11 am, but I told her no because he had an appointment at the VA at 11. She said that was fine. So, once we were on our way, I called to see if the 11 am appointment was still available and explained we were having a really bad morning. It was, and she changed it for me. No point calling the VA, by the time my call was routed through the VA in Temple to our local clinic, we’d be there.

    I drove straight to the VA clinic, and explained our situation. He only had an appointment with the nurse to check his blood pressure and turn in my chart where I’d recorded it daily for the past month. No problem, the nurse could see him at 1 pm. The ladies behind the counter were kind and sympathetic. I could breathe; I knew God was in control.

              We’re having more morning that start a little slower, he needs a little more help. But there are also mornings that go well, he’s independent in his dressing. I understand that this is just the beginning. So, I will give thanks for the good days, but I will also prepare for the mornings that don’t go well. But no matter what, I will choose to trust God because I know all of our days are in His hands.

    “and in Your book all the days [of my life] were written before ever they took shape, when as yet there was none of them” Psalm 139:16b Amp. Bible, Classic Edition

    Peace and blessings in our Lord Jesus Christ,

    Dee

  • I Didn’t Plan This Trip

    I Didn’t Plan This Trip

    “So do not worry or be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will have worries and anxieties of its own. Sufficient for each day is its own trouble.”

    Matt. 6:34 AMPC

    In 2020 my husband and I embarked on a journey we never planned. He was having some problems with his memory, and I had noticed he had difficulty with his thinking occasionally. He was already seeing a VA neurologist for restless legs, so we requested that he be tested. Since this was in the beginning of the Covid shut-down, the VA had cancelled all in-person visits. So, she ordered a brain scan at the local hospital, and a few days later over the phone she confirmed our fears – there were plaque spots on his brain that could indicate dementia. But at that time, she offered no treatment.

              It’s been 5 years now, and so much has changed. The journey we never signed up for. A journey we wouldn’t wish on anyone. Day by day, I’m having to lean on my faith in God and His promises more and more. Some days are better than others. And no two days are the same. That is what this blog is about, our journey. I pray that it will help others who are on the same journey, if nothing else just know you are not alone.

              I have no answers, even his neurologist has no definitive answers. The medications available are limited, and they do not offer a cure, they only offer limited hope that maybe they can slow it down.  The National Institute on Aging says “Alzheimer’s is a progressive disease, where dementia symptoms gradually worsen over a number of years. In its early stages, memory loss is mild, but with late-stage Alzheimer’s, individuals lose the ability to carry on a conversation and respond to their environment.”

              What I know is, Alzheimer’s is a despicable disease. Slowly stealing your loved one from you and your family. If you’re on this journey, you are not alone. I pray that you, and I, find our hope and peace in Jesus Christ.       

    Peace and blessings in our Lord Jesus Christ,

    Dee

  • The Happiest Time of the Year?

    “Why are you cast down, O my soul? And why are you disquieted within me? Hope in God; For I shall yet praise Him, The help of my countenance and my God.”  Psalm 42:11

    For many people, the holidays are a time of celebration, parties, and happy family gatherings. But for some, that is not always true. Empty chairs are a reminder of loved ones who are not here this year. Memories of sad times are more poignant and a reminder of past loses and failures. Deployed family members are missed more sharply during Christmas celebrations. So how do we cope? Those who are Christians, often experience guilt over not being happy during the season we celebrate the birth of our Lord, adding to our feelings of loneliness, sadness and depression.

              Temporary holiday blues can be due to unrealistic expectations, overplanning, and overspending which adds to stress. These are things which can be corrected by less shopping, and keeping expectations of a good holiday more realistic.

              But what about those who are experiencing real hurt, who are missing loved ones or who suffer from S.A.D. (Seasonal affective disorder, a type of depression that occurs usually during fall or winter.) These feelings are real and cannot just be dismissed.

              Here are just a few things that God has shown me over the years.

    1. Celebrate the life of your loved one who has passed. Enjoy the memories you have of them, and remind yourself, that if they were believers in Jesus Christ, they are celebrating in heaven.
    2. Give yourself permission to cry and call out to God, being honest with your Heavenly Father. Many of the Psalms of David were him calling out to God, reminding himself to praise Him even when times were bad.
    3. Take care of yourself physically. Get plenty of rest, go for walks or do other exercise. Shower and get dressed, even if you don’t feel like it. Sisters, style your hair and put on your make-up. Brothers, shave or trim your beard. Eat healthy meals, and limit carbs and sweets.
    4. Spend time alone with God, meditating on His Word and praying. The Psalms are an excellent place to spend time meditating.
    5. Look for someone else to bless. Take a meal to someone who is also missing a loved one. Call or text someone you haven’t connected with in a while. Give a lonely child, or adult, a hug. Ask God to show you who He  would like for you to reach out to and bless.
    6. Spend time with others, especially other believers. When we’re depressed, our tendency is to shut ourselves out from other people. While that is ok occasionally, we mustn’t allow that to become our norm. Go to church. Go to family events. Go wherever God leads you.
    7. Seek help. If your feelings become overwhelming, there are people ready and able to help you. Counseling with a Christian counselor can help you work through those feeling. But if you start having thoughts of suicide, call for help immediately. In the USA, you can call or text 988 to get help.

    When the Apostle Paul wrote to the Philippian church to “rejoice, and again I say rejoice” he was sitting in a nasty Roman prison, facing certain execution. Here’s just a few of the things he wrote in the 4th chapter of Philippians:

    V. 4 “Rejoice in the Lord always. Again I will say, rejoice!

    V. 6-7 “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

    V.8 “Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things.”

    God didn’t create us to be down, sad or depressed. Jesus said that He came that we might have LIFE and have it more abundantly. So my prayer for you during this Holiday Season is that regardless of your circumstances, that you will receive the joy of the Lord, and the peace of God to surround you.

    If you don’t know Jesus Christ as your personal Savior, He’s ready to receive you, that is why He came and went to the cross. Pray “Lord Jesus, I acknowledge I am a sinner and need a Savior. I repent of my past sins, and I ask You to come into my heart right now. I believe You died on the cross for my sin, and You were resurrected on the third day. I receive you as my Lord and Savior, and I choose to live for You from this day forward. Amen”  Welcome to the family of God!

    Peace and blessings in our Lord Jesus Christ,

    Dee

  • Move Your Body!

    “You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb.

    Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it.”

    Psalm 139:13-14 (New Living Translation)

                One of the beautiful things about how our bodies were created is the way we can move. Our elbows, fingers and knees work like hinges. Our shoulders and hips are like ball and joints. And in coordination with our muscles and our nervous system, these  parts of our body help us to move about throughout our day. God created us so wonderfully and marvelously and He made us to move!

                However, as we age we tend to be more sedentary and we do not move our body as we were created to do. As a result our muscles grow weaker, our joints get stiffer and we blame it all on aging. However, God did not create us to sit around and do nothing just because we have some higher numbers in our years or more gray in our hair.

                Weight bearing exercises such as walking or using handheld weights are essential for keeping our bones strong. Women especially are susceptible to broken bones because after their childbearing years are over estrogen, a hormone in women that protects bones, decreases sharply which can cause bone loss.

                When I was in my 40s and 50s, I was a member of a lady’s gym and regularly attended classes for Pilates. I believe those classes kept my body in much better shape than it had been in when I was younger. Not only did I do Pilates, I also worked with a trainer on weight exercises. I really loved the Pilates classes, but some of the weight exercises I had to do with the trainer, not so much!

                Now that I’m 75, I have all the aches and pains and movement issues too many people my age also have. After carpal tunnel surgery and a slow recovery, and now possibly needing rotator cuff surgery, I’ve decided I’m changing that.

                Not having a gym convenient to my location now is not an acceptable excuse. I have found an excellent Pilates teacher on YouTube. She even has exercise videos for seniors! And yes I even bought myself a pair of 3 LB handheld weights to start working with weights again and I fully expect to work back up to being able to use my 5 LB weights, and then even my 10 LB weights.

                So I want to challenge you to first, hold me accountable. And then second, won’t you join me? Yes our bodies are fearfully and wonderfully made and God fully intended for us to keep moving even in our gray haired years.

    Peace and blessings in our Lord Jesus Christ,

    Dee

    P.S. Don’t laugh at the bronze statue – made it when I was in college! Great art! LOL

  • Delayed but not Stopping

                Ever feel like you’re just spinning your wheels? I have. Ever since I decided to turn my wreath-making hobby into a full-time business and I opened my Etsy shop, it seems like there’s been one thing after another to slow me down. DH had surgery in July, out of town which meant two nights in the hospital for him and three nights in a hotel for me. Not complaining, because I have friends who’re going through much worse and DH’s was relatively minor compared to what they’ve had. But it was time away from work, plus all the follow-up doctor appointments we had to go to in July. Then in August, more doctor appointments.

    Now here comes September, and it starts off with a bang. When I got home last Saturday from grocery shopping, I discovered that our freezer had stopped working and everything in there was defrosting! So I have spent the last two and a half days cooking all the meat that was in our freezer before it could go bad! Thank God I only had to throw out one package of ground sausage and a box of Wagyu Beef patties (insert crying emoji here!). Oh, and forget Home Depot if you need a freezer in a hurry. It takes them 10 days or more to deliver one, depending on the brand and model you want!

    Nevertheless, I am not deterred. Delayed a little at times, but I am not giving up. God had placed a dream in my heart for several years now and I am determined to see it come to pass.  

      “For I know the thoughts and plans that I have for you, says the Lord, thoughts and plans for welfare and peace and not for evil, to give you hope in your final outcome.” Jeremiah 29:11

     “The Lord will command the blessing on you in your storehouses and in all to which you set your hand, and He will bless you in the land which the Lord your God is giving you.”  Deut. 28:8

    Peace and blessings in our Lord Jesus Christ,

    Dee

    https://adorabellahomedecor.etsy.com

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  • God is Faithful, Always

    “O Lord God of hosts, Who is mighty like You, O Lord?   Your faithfulness also surrounds You.”     Psalm 89:8

     

                To say I feel a little overwhelmed would be a major understatement. But not necessarily for the reasons you may think, considering the events of the past week.

    First, I’m overwhelmed at the Greatness and Goodness of our God. In the words of King David, who am I Lord that you would be so gracious to me? God took what could have been a tragic event and showed us His love and His protection over Larry’s life. When he fell and shattered the T9 vertebra, it shattered on three sides but the fourth side stayed intact, protecting his spine.

    Second thing, the peace. Throughout Larry’s hospital stay, during the surgery and recovery, we both had a sense of peace and we know it was from all the prayers being offered on our behalf. Overwhelming peace.

    And third thing, the love.  Not only the love of God covering us, the love of our brothers and sisters in Christ. Phone calls, text messages, hospital visits and gifts, each one reminds us that it is the overwhelming love of Christ through believers that bind us together so we never walk through difficult times alone.

    Larry and I still face some uncertainties, decisions that we’ll have to make that will affect our future. When the doctor tells a contractor that he can no longer climb ladders or lift heavy objects, that’s not what he wants to hear. But we know our God is faithful and He has our future in His hands. As our pastor said this morning, it’s not about how big our faith is, but it is about how big our God is.

    “I have been young, and now am old; Yet I have not seen the righteous forsaken, nor his descendants begging bread.” Psalm 37:25

     

    Peace and blessings in our Lord Jesus Christ,

    Dee